In the Beginning...

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Date
I got this from a friend and just couldn't help myself...

In the Beginning
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In the beginning God Created heaven and the earth. Quickly he was faced
with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact
statement. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was
stymied with the Cease and
Desist order for the earthly part. Appearing at the hearing, God was asked
why he began his earthly project in the first place. He replied that he
just liked to be creative.

Then God said, "Let there be light." Officials immediately demanded to know
how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? What about
thermal pollution? God explained that the light would come from a huge ball
of fire. God was granted provisional permission to make light, assuming
that no smoke would result from the ball of fire, that he would obtain a
building permit, and (to conserve energy) would have the light out half the
time. God agreed and said he would call the light "Day" and the darkness
"Night." Officials replied that they were not interested in semantics.

God said, "Let the earth bring forth green herb and such as many seed." The
EPA agreed so long as native seed was used. Then God said, "Let waters
bring forth creeping creatures having life; and the fowl that may fly over
the earth." Officials pointed out this would require approval from the
Department of Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation and
the Audubongelic Society.

Everything was OK until God said he wanted to complete the project in six
days. Officials informed him it would take at least 200 days to review the
application and the environmental impact statement. After that there would
be a public hearing. Then there would be 10-12 months before...

At this point God created Hell.




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Norman MacLeod
Micropalaeontological Research
N.MacLeod@nhm.ac.uk (Internet)
N.MacLeod@uk.ac.nhm (Janet)

Address: Dept. of Palaeontology, The Natural History Museum,
         Cromwell Road, London, SW7 5BD

Office Phone: 0171-938-9006
Dept. FAX:  0171-938-9277
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